Long time no post. I still know John but as friends. He overwhelms me when he gets closer and my distance hurts him and I don't want it to. Today is Ron's birthday. He's 47. I don't seem to be finding anyone that I'd like to be with longer term and my indifference shows. Then on the other hand when I do meet some rare bird that I'd like to be with more I smother them and come across needy. If they only knew most of the time they mean nothing to me it's just the lonliness talking.